he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
