Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
