You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
