He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
