hotel room ftw
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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