i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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