I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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