Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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