why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
