im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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