New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Bring me that man meat
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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