Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
