No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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