God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
