i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Sext me about skeletons
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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