Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
