Do you still have your period?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
