hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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