He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
