dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
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