Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We had sex on a dog bed..
My vagina is officially offended.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
