Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
do herpes really smell.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just gargled with NyQuil
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
