My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
