Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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