i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
