you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
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You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
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Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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