Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
