My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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