My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
