There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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