I got chris browned last night
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
