If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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