that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
