New low: just hacked my moms facebook
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
