he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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