My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
