just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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