You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
