I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We have started to decorate penises.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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