so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
