Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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