I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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