When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
