I have demons in me.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
