Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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