Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
