ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
