is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Couch. On fire.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
