I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
