Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
