fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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