laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
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is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
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I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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