Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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