eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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