Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My day in three words: secret purse cake
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
