Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I could fuck to npr.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
