Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
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You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
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Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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