I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize