he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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