she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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