imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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