I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
